The Jersey Chronicles: Gatherings, Gifts and Goodbyes

Last night I had a modest going away party in Jersey City. My friend, Sean, reminded me of the week-long departure blast I had three years ago before my last trip to India. Long nights of barbecuing and toasting. I had been in DC for two years and it signaled a major turning point in my young life. Last night differed dramatically in size and in scope (a reflection of many things) and seemed to fit in perfectly with everything I’ve been doing and experiencing the past weeks in Jersey.

We collected early and welcomed a drenching thunderstorm from the West. Lightening twice shattered the air leaving us shuttering on the porch. The torrent beamed laser rain down onto the sidewalks, exposed I-beams and car roofs -- powerful enough to create a dynamic 360-degree spray, dousing pant legs and testing the endurance of my Rainbow leather. I had to make a run out for supplies and got to use the greatest umbrella on record. The oversize Belvedere automatic covered a square yard and opened and shut with the ease of a well-oiled hydraulic pump.

Upon my successful return we relaxed over a spread of Thai curries and ate fully. When we finished and without notice, my friends gathered closely around. One stood up and read a hilarious and touching poem she wrote in honor of my departure. Then they handed me a bag – a gift. I didn’t see this coming. After all, I was leaving of my own volition and while I was happy to celebrate I did not see a gift in the mix. Still, I opened it. Inside I found a weighty box and I realized immediately what it was. 10 days earlier I lost my brand-new digital camera in the madness of the wedding weekend. They bought me a new one.

I felt overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness and the out and out care of the gift. To be honest, I did not think a new camera was in my budget for the trip and I thought about getting a new one but mostly as a luxury item. I wanted one badly, but did not know if it would happen. Now, it lay in my hands as a gift. I felt emotions running through my body, leaving me on the edge of tears and running my hands through my hair in half-disbelief and half-gratitude. And the giving didn’t stop. They went on to completely overwhelm me by donating generously as a group to my work with Sometimes. It’s the first time in my life I remember feeling utterly speechless.

I couldn’t talk for about 2 minutes as it all hit me like a train. All this writing and thinking I’d been doing about friendship and caring for others in their time of need was coming back to me in force. Except instead of the giving to another, I was receiving from an incredible outpouring of friendship in ways that I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. I felt emotional and wondered “why?” But to them, I could see that this just emanated form them as the most natural thing a friend would do for another friend. There example exquisite, I realized that I have much more to learn about friendship.

The rain concluded her part in the scene. The focus moved away from gifts and departures and fell back into the comfortable exchange of stories, dreams and ideas. The playlist from the wedding set chilled in the background. I did too, just needing a place to sit as I considered relationships, both on that back porch and those I will start and renew in a short time in India. Tonight’s friendship lesson of purity, generosity and thoughtfulness will come with me.