Facing Myself About China

I’ve recently had a chance to meet quite a few Chinese people and I’ve been asked on occasion to share my thoughts with them. Most recently, I spoke briefly to a group of lawyers who have started a volunteer agency in Shanghai.

My experience in Shanghai has reminded me of a fundamental idea a friend told me in India: Trust is a decision. It doesn’t matter how many actions a person takes to show you that he is trustworthy. At the end of the day, you still have to decide whether or not you trust that person.

I’ll be straight with you. China is misunderstood in America. We don’t get very much information about what is happening in your country. And it’s obvious that the information we do get does not give us a complete picture of the reality of present-day China. On one side we see broadcasts about the riots in Tibet and on the other we see the dazzling spectacle of the Beijing Olympics. I read articles that conjure up feelings of fear about China’s world ambitions while a day later I see a magazine cover that reads “Why you shouldn’t be afraid of China.” This demonstrates the vast gulf between the two sides and the derth of balanced information.

The problem with misunderstanding is that it leads directly to mistrust. And there is a lot of mistrust of China in the United States. And I’ll admit it to you. I find it very challenging to trust the Chinese – I’m a person who makes decisions largely based on information and my lack of reliable sources on this subject spurs my suspicion.

But that has started to change. I’ve always wanted to get a closer look at China – to see it for myself. And over the past two weeks, I’ve experienced here what I’ve experienced in many other countries – a common theme worldwide – people are all people.

During my time at Shanghai, I’ve noticed some very specific things that I share in common with Chinese people I’ve met. We like bike-riding and there are times when want to and perhaps need to take unnecessary risks on two wheels. We like sitting around a big table with friends and enjoying good food. We tie knots the same way and need a toothpick after eating spare ribs. We tend to talk more loudly and laugh more easily after we’ve been drinking. We prefer wearing slippers indoors. When spring knocks at the door after a long winter, we wish it would come in more quickly. We love flowers. We feel pain when we hear a friend has lost a loved one. We get hurried and careless when too much is happening around us. We smile at the sight of a friend’s newborn child.

When I remember and recognize that people are people, it slows me down. It gives me a feeling of great connection, despite all the obvious and large barriers like language and culture. And with that weave going on, trust happens at a human level.

So it’s from this personal experience that I think I can bring it back to the big picture. What about America and China? What does it look like if our countries are working diligently to build-trust at all levels of society. What could happen at a global level if China and America actually decided to trust one another and work together. We could be more than business partners. We could develop new models of business that become recession-proof and seek greater equality and opportunity for all. We could be the leaders of an environmental revolution of long-term sustainability. We can make major breakthroughs in medicine and science by joining eastern and western styles. It’s a vision worth having and pursuing.

If we are talking about Gandhi’s idea – my life is my message – then I want to make my message one of trust. I truly believe that with trust, all things are possible. In the same moment, without trust, nothing is possible. So today I will make a commitment to you. I will take my experience in Shanghai back with me to my home. I’ll share about China in a personal way, a way that brings out your voices and stories – the human aspect of your country. A way that challenges any sweeping generalizations I might hear. A way that seeks to build understanding and trust.

In this way I’ll build a sidewalk of trust between our two nations. I’m not Barack Obama, so it won’t be an interstate. It may not even be noticeable to more than a handful of people. But my hope is that if we all build sidewalks and put them next to one another, we’ll eventually build a rock-solid bridge of trust that spans the Pacific Ocean and a Great Wall. That covers the vast void of fear, suspicion and misunderstanding. That connects us despite barriers of language and culture. And if we can do that, as people and as nation – that’s a vision worth the commitment.