Megumi’s Story

People often ask what it is I do with Action for Life. Typically, I tell them that it’s a leadership training program and that we work to develop leaders who are highly capable at leading themselves as well leading groups. We spend significant time in the area of self-understanding and development, which is fundamental in terms of leading people. The program also seeks to develop a key skill set that will empower participants to be good communicators, effective team-builders, conflict solvers and project managers. Action for Life accomplishes these tasks in two main ways – classroom training with an international faculty in an international learning community and practical application in traveling teams in a variety of cultures with a focus on partnering with NGOs and people from all parts of society who are working to bring positive change in the world.

At the heart of the program, however, is Gandhiji’s idea: Be the change you want to see in the world. So at the most basic level, we really start by helping people to identify what kind of world they want to see. From there, we are about the business of helping people take the steps of change that will help bring that world into actuality. It’s a simple idea. But it’s one with almost unfathomable depth.

For a number of reasons (our many connections, a general curiosity about who our group is and the fact we have a good message and capacity to teach/connect with people) we are often asked to speak to groups of students and various other community groups, NGOs and politicians about what we do and how we do it. We frequently give workhops. We teach some skills. We give exercises on leadership and self-awareness. But most of all it gives us an opportunity to share with the audience what Gandhiji’s message means to us.

Yesterday we were invited to spend about 3 hours with a volunteer group in Shanghai. We were asked to make an hour presentation and then spend another two hours of more informal interaction time with those present. About 25 people attended.

We decided to go bold and get direct: China is the nation on the world’s mind. The actions of China and individuals in China will have and already are having a huge impact on the rest of the world. You are part of China’s impact. What will be your impact on China?

It was a good message for the day. I really enjoy hitting young people with a good question and giving them some space to wrestle with it. But it wasn’t the question that stuck this time. What did stick was the idea of change, which came out through a personal story about change. And a very simple message.

In the 1930’s, the Japanese invaded China, after overwhelming Korea, They stormed the NE before sacking Shanghai and eventually pillaging Nanjing, the capital of the Republic. In an absolutely devastating assault, an estimated 300,000 non-combatant Chinese perished in the course of 6-weeks in Nanjing. The wounds of Japanese occupation run deep in the Chinese psyche. Even in the group we met yesterday afternoon (70 years removed from the events), one young woman told us that she felt uneasy just knowing that she was in the same room with a Japanese woman.

That Japanese woman was Megumi-san, one of those traveling with our team. Megumi comes from a generation of new hope in Japan. Born in Tokyo in the early 50’s she must have represented new opportunity and possibility for a devastated country passing through the emptiness of war and looking ahead to a new horizon. Like a new day at dawn, she and her contemporaries came fresh and innocent on the edge of a long and troubled night.

Except for her experience and conscience, she might have continued her pursuit of teaching. She might have moved to Italy with her doctor boyfriend. Or maybe continued her study of Hebrew in Israel. Or taken on the mantle of motherhood. But her parents sent her to Switzerland one summer (actually where I’ll be this summer) and she got a vision for the world. When she was challenged with the question of “What kind of world do I want to see?” she had her answer. She wanted to see a world with healed and mutually beneficial relationships between countries. Her offer in the pursuit of that would be her willingness to push pride aside and apologize on behalf of what her country

Whenever she spoke in our sessions, I could feel the energy pulse through the people. Not dramatic, but palpable. Megumi’s story opened up. First, came a story of personal reconciliation with her older sister. This transitioned into a deeper understanding about the nature of forgiveness and its transformative quality. With gentle timing and solemn tone, she then apologized for the transgressions of her people. She apologized to the grandmothers and grandfathers and for all of those touched directly or indirectly by the severe actions of her own ancestors.

When someone speaks without pretense, there is no confusing the authenticity. One could feel the purity and humility of her sentiment cut to the hearts of those encircled. The room breathed deep. Tears fell. Like opening a valve, so many found release in her story, her simplicity, her apology. True and sincere.

Many never expected to hear these words. Some didn’t even recognize the emotions they had bound to this situation. Others hardened, unwilling to let it touch them. Many wavered, wondering what it all meant to them and unable to convey their feeling. Quite a few accepted immediately, deeply moved.

Japan has never formalized an apology to the Chinese people for Nanjing. Without a clear indication of remorse from the Japanese government, Chinese have long choked on the stories of their suffering ancestors. The pain streaming down generations. Megumi’s story altered that tale of suffering dramatically.

One person acting to bring the change they want to see in the world and being willing, courageous and humble enough to act in the space they’ve been given.

**In a later conversation with Megumi over a breakfast of pork buns, coffee and seaweed knots, we developed an armchair, unprofessional and simple model that helped us to better understand the cycle of transformation that comes through forgiveness.

• To start, a perpetrator lives in a state of arrogance, ignorance or denial. Arrogance in feeling that any hurt or damage done was and is justified. The willing ignorance that stays happily unaware of pain/suffering caused. Or denial, which is a rejection of either the occurrence of the event or the consequence of the event to the afflicted party.
• Once this defense breaks (for any number of reasons) there is a feeling of shame. This starts a process of shame. It’s valid and necessary shame. If taken negatively, it will be shame that destroys a person, devastated by their past and unable to move forward. If taken constructively, it will be a long-lasting scar that will instruct the perpetrator in the future.
• When accepted, shame breeds humility. Humility is a space of malleability. It’s a place where transformation occurs. It’s a moment of willingness. It’s the space of vulnerability. It’s incredibly powerful in its capacity to let go of ego and usher in a new spirit of growth and possibility.
• From humility develops the capacity to apologize. This is the step of sharing the transformation with others and inviting the aggrieved party be transformed by forgiveness.
  

Would Megumi’s example ever bring this out in the Japanese at a national level. The spirit of humility that transforms a whole nation in its relationships with her neighbors?