Lesson 1: People Where They Are

My whole trip back around the world is full of more lessons than I could ever possibly recall or fully understand in the short time I've been given. But this the first of four lessons I've written about specifically since I've been on the road.

Take people where they are and give them a vision for where they can be.

When we look at people, can we accept them for who they are and where they are? I’ve found regularly in my life that I meet people and wish that they were someone different, somewhere different. What I mean is that sometimes I see a person and wonder how they can act a certain way or why they can’t see a blind spot in their life. I’m sure people look at me the same way, wishing I could somehow break away from something that is holding me back. I imagine that parents frequently feel this way when they look at their children learning lessons (or not learning lessons) the hard way.

But one of the most remarkable things about human life is that despite our almost identical biological compositions, we are each unique, shaped by our genes and experiences like no other. Each of us walking our own path of life. Sometimes its alone, sometimes we share it with others or even walk long distances with the same person, but the small truth remains the same: each of us is at the point we are at on the path we are on.

No one can make another person move faster or slower on that path. Or climb the rocky patch that’s difficult or take it easy and smell the hedge of honeysuckle. It can’t be done without that person’s consent. This is free will. And free will plays as central a role as any in the course of humanity.

But in the same moment that we can’t move someone (no matter how frustrating this may be) we can do something about it. True education and leadership and care for another human being is helping them to see who they can be and what they can do on their path. It’s believing in the possibility of each person and giving them a vision that excites them to the point of taking action of their own volition. Not for any other reason than that they saw a vision for their life that inspired them to new action.

(There is another side to the concept of vision expressed here, and it’s the idea of judgment or rebuke. I’ve recently been reading “A Generous Orthodoxy” by Brian McLaren who writes exceptionally on the important role judgment plays in bringing the truth into the light. I hope to reflect more on this later).

It’s a difficult task to move past the frustration that others cause us when we see where we would like them to be and have to deal with the reality of where they are. It requires the wisdom of patience and acceptance. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to shine some light on the path ahead.

Postlogue: Upon writing this, I want to acknowledge the many who have taken the time to give me a greater vision for who I can be in my life and I’m grateful to those who have waited out a remarkably stubborn man uninterested in change. Now it’s my chance to work with the lesson learned and take my turn.